The day before, I receive a sms from a good friend, asking me to lepak together, after work.
Yesterday, after work, I called her up, and it seems that she’s still busy having things to do in her office.
‘babe…serdang ngan ampang jauh tak? – she ask
‘tak le jugak…’- I replied
‘brape minit?’
‘ko tahu aku bawak keta mcm mane kan?, paling koman aku boleh buat, 15,20 min.hahahha….pe ce?’
‘ko boleh ambik aku lepas keja tak? Tapi lewat la skit, dalam pukul 9,10 cam tu?’
‘no hal…’
After work, while waiting for her, my best fwen called in, so I decided to lepak with her.
We wanted to go tomyam 14, drove through the rain, and when we reached in front of jayaone, I saw 17’s pasar.
‘pasar babe…ayam gorengggggg…..’ I started drooling
‘a ah best gak’- Fatimah agreed
‘jom kita bungkus nak? Tapi nak makan mane?’
‘UM la kot…?’
‘hujan ni…ko tak kisah?’
‘ada payung…aku ok je’
We redah the hujan, bought food
And also 1 kilo of lychee…hohoho…
It was just beautiful
the rain, the sound and smell of the pasar, the umbrellas, the food and colors.
It was just nice.
Got to fatimah’s lab,
We settle down, and watched bounty hunter together
We eat, giggle all the way
Fatimah rempit back, I’m off to my fwen’s place
picked her up,
And all the way to her house in ampang,
We talked about work, education, life etc
But what got me stunned and full of emotions (pms lo…watodo…) was this
“he died in a car crash, last year, at MRR2”
The 1st time I’ve meet her was when I was 13.
12 freaking years ago.
Then we lost contact, and manage to accidently bump into each other, 3 years ago
In those 3 years, not to say that I was really close to her, but we can be considered as good friends.
I crashed at her place, meet the family, she visited mine.
Our family knows each other, her mom’s a darl, dad’s just awesome,
U know, a normal, how-friends-are-suppose-to-be
But one thing I just realize, is that we never talked about love
U know, girls always talked about boys, men and love life
But I realize that between me and her, we never actually talked about it
When I parked my car in front of her house, we were still talking
She pointed the house, her own (I repeat) her own house, which is in 200k renovation.
“babe…giler hebat ko, dah ade keta, umah. Tgh keja, part time study degree, tak lame lg sambung master…tabik spring wooo….” I praised her
‘tak la…cam biasa je…’ humbled as she can be
I looked at her and gave that ‘look’…”so, bila mahu kawin? Mana calon…huhuhu…” I giggle
“haaaaa…….”she giggle “I heard that your mom’s introducing you a guy..rite? what happen to him?’-she replied, dodging my question.
“bontotlaa….ko tahu la mak aku cam mane…giler, mamat tu pun sama….arghhh…aku tak suka….masuk yg ni, it’s the 3rd guy she’s been trying to hook me up with”- me giving the my-mom-wants-me-to-get-married eyeroll
‘hahhaa…but common, sure he’s ok rite? tell me lo…’ she questioned back
So I told her the story of which guys,about my mom, what happen to my ex’s, and the whole love celada. All sum into one quick brief and easy summary.
And I end it with
“my heart belongs to somebody…I tried, really, I did. But for now, it belongs to somebody else”
She smiled, I smiled…in a sad kinda-way smiled. As I didn’t want my love episodes to filled the air with sadness, so I ask her
“so enough about me…what about you? huhuhu…ur mom tak bising yek?’
“well…dunt tell anybody. Nobody knows. I kept it secret…” she replied.
‘huhuhu…ok….’
“he died in a car crash, last year, at MRR2”
=O
I was speechless…I didn’t know how to react…
‘I know…and I never told u guys (referring to me and the other girls). We dated for quite a while. And then, u know, my mom ask, why not get married…so we planned…and we agreed…tapi nak buat mcm mane…rezeki tak da…’
Her voice kinda change, as her eyes filled with tears
Me, trying my best to not cry and be sad, smiled, and just said ‘everything happens for a reason’
‘Whether its you, or me….God just wants us to learn and make the best of it…’
She smiled, I smiled
We continued chatting and I end it with a wave of goodbye to her mom and brother.
On the way back…I was a ‘full-minded’ and ‘emotionally unstable’ girl
I kept thinking…these past few years, how can she kept it quite, and never really ‘show’ it.
It must have been very, very, very sad
“the reason why I told you, aisyah…is because I think you really knows how I feel…’she confessed.
I couldn’t help to wonder, how my own friend, whom I known, who has always been the ‘miss independent’ and ‘i-am-strong’ women, have one of the most sad love stories I known.
(now, between my friends, I am ‘branded’ to be the girl with the most ‘life-love experienced’)
Thus, among my friends, I am a ‘shoulder to cry on’.
But I was really surprise at this one.
The thing is, not to say that I wasn’t sad, but it left me with a ‘happy-sad’ feeling
A ‘happy-sad’ feeling is like you’re sad but u kinda have that ‘still grateful’ thought, making u smile a bit although u feeling down.
I am truly blessed for having what I have right now
I tend to reminisce on my life and love
How the ups and down makes me who I am right now
=)
Thank you friend, as you remind me of the word ‘strong’
and as we try to reach the heavens above
our legs tend to sore, as gravity earth, pulls us back to the floor
and as I try to fly and spread my wings
only to find myself still on the ground, happy, walking with my bare feet
