its hard to find somebody who accepts you for who you are
i admit
i have nothing
and trust me
when i said that i have nothing
means nothing
and when i told you the truth
of everything of what i am
from the good, the bad
to the ugly truth
u stayed and said
'whats in the past, is past...now we focus the future, with us together...'
when you shut your heart out
and try to just walk off from being loved
its hard.
I myself have made it very clear to me, my family and my friends
that i have shut my heart off,
and it pains me
to remember such feelings
it sadden me to know
that i lost faith in such feelings
and just when u thought u know whats inside of your heart
as if it was plain to see
my heart plays its tricks well enough to see
that i was wrong
for month i have practise patients
i cried nite by nite
i pray non-stop to get ride of this feeling
its painful
it hurts
one night
malam Jumaat
at mamak lepak session
u were there
as usual, i buat bodo
as normal, i never thought about anything
nothing more, nothing less
then i saw the side of you that pops a thought
'hey, this guy is nice...'
the next morning
pagi Jumaat
while driving to college
my sis asked me for an advise
and i simply said
"when u see and know a nice guy, just grab him. If not, u akan menyesal..."
and out of the blue
as if God shows the sign
you just pop into my head
i was a bit confused
and kinda stunned
i dunt normally think about anyone tetiba
and lately, nobody was in my mind
let alone it was u
thus
as we both know
on monday,
i ask you out for lunch
believe me, it wasnt that easy
i was sweating like a pig -_-"
i know i was going to be rejected
or at least got a no
(the last guy i ask out, stated that he was married -_-")
but i was wrong
and you said yes
that nite
suddenly
after i finished my work
when i came into my car
suddenly
again
my heart says 'there's a msg...'
i look at my phone
=(
nope, i was wrong
3 seconds later
=)
a msg arrived
i know it sound so weird
or cliche
but it seems, at that moment
i know that God had send me a sign
a very straight forward
beautiful, white truth sign
i smiled
and i was happy
but i just do not know the reason
the feeling just pops out of no where
that post in the blog,
where i said that 'whats wrong with me...'
that was it
that feeling of happiness
was shouting inside my heart
but i was confuse,
as we were only friends
and yet my heart was pounding and beating for more
the next day,
I had to teman Fatimah
and yes,
as we was sitting and chatting
ur msg came
and i just light up
Fatimah being my 8-years-besty
she look at me and said 'omg.....finally'
'what'
'who's the guy?'
'what guy?'
'dun lie to me. look at your face...omg...'
'what face, there's nothing'
'common tell me'
and yes,
my face just lights up
my friends,
my family
my work place
they saw a girl who's smiling non stop when she receive a text
my God...and i thought i never gonna feel it again
i guess i was wrong
after a beautiful dinner
a short and sweet tea time
and a fairy tale lunch
today
"therefore with this, will you, my one and only sayang Aisyah Mokhtar, be my gf or partner now, and fiance and wife withing the near future?"
my heart just stops
"yes baby, I do..."
for the past 2 years, i have never even thought that we would be together
i mean
u remember how we 1st meet
u remember what was happening
u take notice,
quietly,
of what i do
and the signs you pointed out back then,
it really shows that you were interested in me,
but me being me, i was just too blur
i'm sorry i didnt notice you before
i apologies for not remembering the 1st moment we've meet
but i'm glad God had shown me the sign
and i'm truly glad and grateful that i asked you out
cos now i believe it even more than ever
that there's love out there
Dear God the Almighty,
I thank you for showing me the way
God has loved me most gracefully
and God had shown me the way
God have answered my prayers
of the cure of loneliness
and the beauty of sweetness
with this i'll gave you my heart
with this i want to share you my love
and in the future goodness will come our way
as we pray, that this love will stay
Fatimah said
"i have seen you with 3 guys whom you loved so dearly. I know your actions, how you speak of them, your potray of emotions to them, the ups and down...but this guy, u're different...it nothing what i have seen before...its just, different..."
i have been in love, been loved and everything in between,
and i thought i knew it all
but this,
you,
you make it different
this feeling inside of me
the actions, the affections
are a whole new level of love to me
and i am truly happy that you have make me feel this way
and when i thought that all hope was gone
you came knocking at my door =)
