UNTITLED...giler jeles

gila tahap cipan aku jeles ngan lily
cipan pun tak jeles macam aku

serious....

-.-

oh caleb ku, dimanakah kamuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

UNTITLED....pukul empat dua puluh empat pagi

ya,
saya belum tidur

kenapa ya?







ini untuk malam-malam yg panjang,
mata tak lelap, hingga ke siang.





*wonders*

UNTITLED....amy, my amy

i think she's brilliant
and beautiful

who care's what u think?

i stick with mine

what?

yup, i thought so too




she's brilliant
and beautiful

UNTITLED....sebelum semua kahwin

*not to forget, lovely Ann, who's not in this picture*

its hard to find a group of frens who stayed together
i've meet them when i was 13
and i left the school at 14

one evening
a school reunion brought us back together again
i have to thank dipie for forcing me to go to the reunion
back in 1998 (if i'm not mistaken)

cos if she didnt do so

i wouldnt be in this family

i love my soul sisters

class bakti rawks!

=D

UNTITLED....apa aku rasa

untuk golongan yang ada cinta
tapi tidak mampu memupuk perasaan itu
atas sebab-sebab tertentu

ya

aku golongan itu

UNTITLED...so what

a blue turkish antique bracelet
with metal & wooden bangles
around my wrist

a hand made copper-wired red-blue-brown-stones ring
around my finger

a red round shape plastic earing
on my ears

a navy blue&white suspenders
with a high-rise stretchable wash-out black jeans
for my belly below

a 501st normal round-neck t-shirt
for my top

a brown hat
with black and white stripes around it
and my hair tuck in

a black pvc hobo hangbag
with adjustable metal/pvc strap
to carry my miggits around

a black pointed
ballet-like, flat shoes
to suit my walking needs


would you dare to wear something like this?

u wont right?

well i will =P

and i rock with it





f*ck off if you dont like my hat, skirts, patterns, clutches, shoes, rings or anything

i choose what i wear

aint no harm if 1 outta 10 were to fall out from 'fashion normal'

havent you heard?

we are who we are

and i love it!

*grind*

UNTITLED....feeling lonely

today
again,
i have to see the doctors
and this time
i was alone

before this
its with my sis didi
or my bestie fatimah
or my soul sister mawar

but today i was alone

many people text me
call me
asking how is it
i love u guys
serious
nothing beats good frens

i was a bit
kinda ok
blur
buat bodo
of the feeling being alone

i like companions around me
would make me feel 'alive'
not sick
or painful
as painful of my ear

as i parked my car
walked
looking around trying to find the clinic
asked the info counter
took my number
waited
and just looked around

i looked around
i saw people who wasnt feeling very well
i looked around
they were with their love ones

i suck it in
just ignored the feeling inside

open the sun newspaper
second page

i started crying

no shit
my eyes started raining

my ear pain came back?
no
i feel lonely?
no

i started crying becos i saw a picture

a picture of an old man
in the ruins of tsunami in Japan
with a picture on his back

a picture of his lost wife
strap around his back
trying to find her
walking about with the ruins

My God
did i cry

he loved his wife very much, i must say
never gave up
and always pray

My god
I just cried

and becos of that
it inspired me to write a poem

http://antu-art-motion.tumblr.com/

and God
did i cried
dated 18th march

UNTITLED....damn it

after all these f*ckin years
i'll take deep breath looking at certain pictures
memories still keep bugging me

i wonder why

f*ck

UNTITLED.....dah lama juga

mari,mari
kita berlari
lari jauh
mengikut hati

pada bulan di lontarkan batu
pada hati salurkan rindu
aku berkira hari demi hari
satu saat rasa terhenti

tiap saat aku terfikir
akan kewarasan minda, hati dan diri
benar sungguh aku rasa kaku
pada rasa yang buat ku membunuh
sayang aku pada tanah
kepakku mahu terbang, kaki ku bernanah

tebar aku segulung tikar
sujud aku niat beikrar
sungguh aku malu meminta
moga hati tenang, selesa dijiwa














ini untuk malam-malam tidur ku tak penuh
bangun mimpiku masih mengeluh
dalam hatiku cinta tak jenuh

UNTITLED....are u in Japan?

i got 8 misscalls
one of it was a foreign number
please dont tell me u're in Japan

God, I couldnt stop thinking the worst
please call me, txt me, fb me, or something

i cant call ur mom
sure she'll go nuts about me, or u, or us (we're just friends k)
i takut she thinks else and she'll be happy for a while, then when i say its nothing, she'll be sad again
my God,
i'm babling
pleaseeeeeeeeee
tell me u're not in Japan
God, tell me u're not in Japan

time aku tak bawak phone, time tu la benda cam ni nak jadi

i have the worst sick feeling in my stomach
ok
please
be safe
no matter where u are

GODDDD, just call me back k
u know how

ARGHHHHH...







P/S: this doesnt mean anything...dun get me wrong...its just me being worried about my frens, and u are my fren, so call me k.

UNTITLED....nobody knows it but me

*u never fail to make me smile*



i'm alone
in the office
duffy's playing
doing my task
a bit of fb

then

ur txt came in

Mecca, 2am.


*u never fail to make me smile*

UNTITLED....it so beautiful

i saw the picture
its beautiful
u must be at peace
i wish i can be there
maybe one day
its beautiful
so beautiful
u take care
jgn lupa alas perut
take rest
and God bless

=)

*i wish to write you an email, but i dunno what to write. I'm just glad you txt me*

TIDAK BERTAJUK....kalau saya bertutur dalam bahasa melayu

'aku nak balik pejabat jap...'
ayat ini penyebab aku jadi bahan

'saya nak tempah, boleh?'
ayat ini pun penyebab aku jadi bahan

hanya sebab aku guna perkataan 'pejabat' dan 'tempah'
orang melayu sendiri gelakkan aku

bila aku bertanya, kenapa gelakkan aku,
mereka bilang

'mana ada orang guna perkataan tu. plus, kalau dengar, kelakar....'

huh?

'orang skang guna ofis'

'orang tak guna tempah, just say i wanna order for tomorrow'

keliru aku, sungguh keliru

masa aku kecil
aku diejek

rambut aku kerinting,
mata aku coklat
kalau orang pantas bercakap bahasa melayu dengan aku,
aku lansung tak faham
darjah dua, aku masih tak tahu eja lori

masa aku remaja
aku kena bahan
kalau tak tahu masak lemak cili api, kena cemuh dalam kelas
aku panggil kuih keria, kuih donut - makcik kantin kecoh satu sekolah aku tak tahu nama kuih

ya, aku tak tahu banyak
tapi itu bukan penyebab untuk orang melayu sendiri gelakkan orang dia

aku melayu
mungkin separuh
mungkin penuh

apa yang boleh kamu semua hakimi kalau orang itu melayu atau tidak?

dari segi bahasa?
tata tertib?
pakaian?
agama?
suara lantang?
sawa matang?
mata bulat?
rambut ikal mayang?

maaf aku terlampau marah
dari kecil, sampai hari ini
kaum aku sendiri gelakkan aku
aku tak faham

satu ketika dulu aku memakai baju kebaya hitam
nenek aku bilang
"cantiknya cucu aku pakai kebaya, betul cantik"
aku bangga
selalu aku pakai baju lain, tak pernah nenekku puji

atuk angkat aku suruh aku pakai selendang
"cucu kena pakai seledang,tahu. baru nampak ayu"

konsert pertama aku,
konsert keroncong hetty koes endang,
dibawa oleh ibu ku

aku tidak lagi memperkenalkan diriku, kepada mereka yang baru, dengan nama panggilan syasya
aku mahu mereka panggil aku aisyah
maksud aisyah ialah
orang yang hidup bahagia
aku bangga ada nama sebegitu rupa
dan ini pesan ayah aku juga

adakah kalau muka aku lebih cenderung ke arah keturunan bugis melaka aku, kamu semua tak memperlekehkan aku?

maaf
aku memang dalam keadaan marah

lebih marah
bila yang tegur dan gelakkan aku itu suka berbicara pasal isu melayu
mereka sayangkan bangsa mereka
tetapi gaya, ada masa, tidak kena

*sekali lagi, aisyah mohon maaf kalau ada yang tersinggung/marah/makan hati akan penulisan aisyah*

saya sangat sayangkan semua
keturunan, keluarga
bangsa dan agama

dan saya masih belajar
ingin belajar
paling penting, memahami

UNTITLED...there's so many things i wanted to say, but i just cant

today
i had lunch with my fren
dunno how
the chatting becomes a subject about u
i didnt say much
i didnt explain much
but i put it in a nutshell the story of us
just few sentences

she had tears in her eyes

belive it or not

she had tears in her eyes listening to my story
about us
which i just briefly explain
in about 5mins
without going into details

"its so saddddddd..." she cried

i just look at her
i dunno what to react
cos i dah immune
so i just buat muka beda/selamba/bodo/dee

"things happen for a reason..." i said

yup,
most definately

things happen for a reason

if you ask me all the love story that i had
i swear to God,
nothing beats my story
every single relationship
nothing beats one another

sometimes i just wonder where did i put my heart at

*wonders*

UNTITLED....i love

i love to bite baby's cheeck
i love to steal my mom's shoe
i love to dance in the rain
i love to breath in the smell of fresh cut grass
i love to sing
i love to dance
i love to smell other people's perfume
i love to roll my eyes
i love to see how muffins are being bake
i love the smell of coffee during rain

i love you

yes you, who ever reading this

you maybe a girl from jamaica
you maybe a 45year old guy reading randomly my blog

i love you

and dont forget

to love yourself too=)

love is the ultimate power

even if you're alone in the universe, like me

even if you're alone in the office, like me

just love yourself
and the universe will follow you

=)

UNTITLED....pee-ka-but

hi,
its me again
miss me?
i thought so too
funny thing is that,
some of my frens txt me, asking how come i havent blog no more
wow
never expect people were to read about me
hey, its just about me
me and my daily dosage of life, love, family, frens
perspective of life
so...
wat do u wanna hear?

work?
i got into a new place in moint kiara
awesome stuff,
been happy, its been long since i like/working/passion about something that i do for money

guitar?
i put it on hold, financially not enough. i've been supporting my sis a-level and education nowadays is not cheap. but the value, is priceless. so i dont mind putting on hold what i love, who i love and care i must put them 1st

family?
been great...i miss my granma, but all she can ask around is, who's i'm dating -_-"

love?
hmmm...actually, u can categories me as single but not available. i dunno where did i put my heart. its lost somewhere. things happen for a reason.

him?
there's a malay saying "kalau jodoh ada, Insyallah" (if God's willing and its fated, it will be there). lets just say due to certain subject we cant be together, for the time being. how ever, i do believe time is running out for me.

life?
i'm quite happy. been listening to a lot of jazz. having time on my own. self discovery. having my own bucketlist and trying to achieve it.

frens?
they rock....my frens, they all rock...i love them to the max....how do i know they love me back? well, if i were to be quite, max 1 week, they would surely call to see wassup. i love them

health?
doing fine. still have a lil flame with me. last migrane was on the 20th feb. i'm 55kg still though. n somehow, i'm happy with it.


life's been beautiful...supple, but yet there's something thrilling about it
and yes, i've been reading
reading?
aisyah reads?
yes, aisyah's been reading
i miss my coffee
but the last time i had one was i cant even remember when
that shows how long i've stop on my cuppa
in the morning when i wake up, i'll take me 10mins to get up
i'll think
and have thoughts
in the car
when i drove back
i'll think
and have thoughts
it seems that i'm getting old
mature and wiser is what my surroundings are stating
no, i'm just learning
and still
learning life

i'm trying to find money
and slash one of my bucketlist
to go umrah
in 2/3 years in time
Amin
hope God's willing
and i know Allah loves me
and faith have kept me alive and always will be

=)

my life is supple...yet, thrilling